Does she want to be with me or not?

Wow! She had you in the friend zone for a while, that's for sure... but I totally get your feeling, you can't go through the friend thing again. I think you're sort of right about her wanting to not lose you as a friend, then again in the back of her mind she might just be taking a risk--thinking to herself "it just might work with him". I would entertain the flirting for a bit, something is bound to happen! Whether it be a night out or a kiss, etc, when it does, take the time to ask her what she wants to do, and give her an ultimatum, but nicely! It doesn't sound like she wants to lose you.... good luck!