Is there someone nice enough to explain...?

Hello and welcome to the world of AFL. It is EXTREMELY difficult to describe this amazing game in words!! The best I can suggest is that you actually go to a game ,preferably with a person who already knows the rules and game-play! If you live in Melbourne, that would very easy to do, but if you live elsewhere, it (perhaps) could be a much more difficult thing to do. However, go to a game anyway, and try to sit next to, or near, people who are ardent supporters (very easy to pick by the clothes they are wearing) and keep on asking them questions during the game. I can guarantee that 99.9% of AFL supporters will absolutely love to explain everything to you as we think it is wonderful to try and convert other code followers to our game (that's how I started back in 1987)!! GOOD LUCK and GO THE MIGHTY SWANNIES!!!!